Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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