it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
