yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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