Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
