bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
