i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
