You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
