This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
