They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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