Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to sanitize my soul.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
