I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
