do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
