Say something about gay babies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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