You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The power of my boobs compel you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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