He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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