You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize