ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I faked an abortion last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
