is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Boobs are out for the taking
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
