I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
