Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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