If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
