He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
