It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
