So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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