Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize