he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
