I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
