fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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