Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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