your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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