Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
