i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
