if you like me you must not know who I am
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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