I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
