ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
