Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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