this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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