But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
