i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
