i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
