physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
