Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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