Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
