We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
