he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
