i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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