Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
