just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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