talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
