I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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