the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
