who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize