I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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