Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
