How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
