Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
