Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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