i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
