i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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