Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You smell like stripper and shame
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
