Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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