I'm jealous of your bromance
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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