I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
