I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
