I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
