I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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