hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
