maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
