My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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