If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
