So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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