You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
