Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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