Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
