please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
