We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
