hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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