How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
