i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
