Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
